I don't feel good. I didn't sleep well last night. I'm tired which makes me grumpy. There is no one to take care of me when I am sick. It sucks. My kids aren't mature enough to know what to do when I am not feeling well. I know that if I can get some sleep tonight everything will be much better in the morning.
I had a weird experience on Tuesday. I had a meeting with a man who was the director of a large Christian charity organization. I was there to share a proposal for funding a summer outreach event. It went well. He approved the funds for the program. But, he asked too many personal questions and made some inappropriate comments. I am trying not to be offended. I don't usually wear my feelings on my shoulder. But, I don't know if I would ever want to visit with him again.
Midway through our meeting he stopped the discussion and said he wanted to know about me. He asked several personal questions including whether I was married. I said "no, I'm widowed". He kept going. Kept asking questions. Wanted to know if I was prejudice. I had no clue what he was talking about. Then he said it bluntly, "would you date a black man?" I said "no and you are making me uncomfortable." I laughed a nervous laugh hoping he would quit. But he didn't....He went on to tell me that he was a "matchmaker of sorts" and that the guy he was thinking of wasn't black anyways. He said he'd matched about 12 couples and none of them had been "slip knots"....??? Bizarre. Weird. Then he tells me about a 38 year old man who is his best friend who has been divorced twice and has 4 children. I kept trying to change the subject. He went on for about 15 minutes. He even asked me if I had dated since Brian's death and if I had talked to my kids about dating men.
I felt like I was put under a microscope and because he was in charge of disbursing funds I guess I felt I had to be a captive audience.
The more I think about it....the odder it seems that he would say some of the things that he said to me after only meeting me for the first time that day.....
I guess I wonder if this is normal behavior for a widow to have to deal with....I have the most random people ask me strange questions that people I know well don't even ask me....what is up with that?
And, after writing this post, I think I have decided I won't go to his office again unless someone else comes with me. I didn't feel unsafe or anything....just a little violated I guess....who does he think he is?
So...a whiney post...I can have one of those every once in a while can't I?
I promise to be more positive tomorrow.
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1 comment:
I'm sorry that you don't feel well. It does suck being sick by yourself. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow after you get some rest.
As far as the interrogation goes, I think you handled the situation quite well. I am grateful that he approved the funds, but I hate that you had to endure that mess to get the money. He should have just stopped the conversation after he got the info he needed about the event. Be that as it may, I think you would be wise to take someone with you if you ever have to talk to him again. I'll go with you.
As far as people asking you strange questions. Maybe they just don't think before they ask. Or perhaps they are sincerely interested in your situation. Coming from someone who has walked alongside you throughout all of this, I find myself knowing what questions are OK to ask and others that I should leave alone. Other people don't have that advantage. I guess it's just the way people think. It might be wrong and insensitive, and too inquisitive...but it is what it is. You have handled this situation and others like it the best you could have.
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