March ramblings...

Here are some of my random thoughts.....in no particular order.....

1. I hate that I "feel" like a loser when I look at my high school's twenty year reunion website. I "know" that I am not a loser, but it sure does "feel" that way when most of the comments and emails you get are sympathy notes.....

2. I am beginning to think that I miss "the relationship" more than I miss Brian. In some strange way I think I have let go of Brian...not that I don't think about him or wish he was here...maybe it is just that I have accepted that he is no longer part of my life (not by my own choice).....but, I still miss being married....I miss that feeling of being completely accepted by someone.....a feeling I may never get to experience again.....

3. I have no clue how to look at my future......no clue what to expect....no clue at all....

4. I am getting somewhat weary of trying to keep all the plates spinning....I even considered hiring a lawn service....but then I think, that's money I could use on the kids to do fun things or put in their college savings fund....I get tired just thinking about having to mow every week again....

5. I tend to get discouraged when I begin to play the "comparison" game.....I know that is a big no-no....but I tend to go there and wonder why life can't be a little bit easier.....

6. I could go on and on and on....but, I won't......


Just whiney ramblings.....