Pretty simple. I like school. I like that I am learning new things and being pushed. I like that I am doing something for "me". I like the escape on Mondays from my "world".
It's been a long time since I have been in this environment. I like thinking about something different than my grief, my kids, my job, my life.
Is it a distraction from reality? Maybe. I would rather like to think it was part of the journey where I continue to evolve and grow towards the life I am creating without Brian....and it feels good, it feels "right". I am thankful that I am now at a place where my thoughts and plans are more directed at my future than at my past. It took a long time to get to that point, but I think I am there....and that is a good feeling. It doesn't mean I don't wish things were different...it just means that since they aren't different I am choosing to make the best of the rest of my life....and I am so glad to be at this point in the journey.
Is it going to be stressful over the next few weeks as deadlines hit and papers are due? Yep! Yep, yep, yep....but it is a good stress, one that stretches me. I just have to make sure I manage my time well and be extremely disciplined over the next two months. It can be done, I am certain of that.
I am thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow...I really am....
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I was just thinking about our conversation that we had tonight when I read your blog. In talking with you tonight you seemed very excited about the things you are learning at school. I can tell that you are enjoying it. I'm glad to see you doing something for yourself. So much of what you do is for others (your kids, your friends, people at work, etc) that it's only right that you do something for yourself.
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