Things that make me smile....

Last night I found a note from Lexi on my pillow. It said:

I love you. I am very sorry. I wish dad were still here. Do you?

Lexi is my note writer. Usually after she gets in trouble I will find a note from her somewhere. She reminds me of me in that I used to make my apologies via a letter or note to my parents. Interesting how she does that even though I have never done that or told her that I used to do that.

I thanked her for the note and talked with her about it today. I asked her if she thought I still missed dad. She said yes. I told her I did and then she started recanting a story about a memory with her dad. I listened to her talk about him and was somewhat impressed by the way she was able to talk about him and remember some happy times. It came very natural to her and she seemed to enjoy just talking about him. (I can't help but remember how hard it was to talk about him after it first happened...we have come a long, long ways.)

When I read the note I thought she brought up her dad because she has been known to do that in order to move the focus off of whatever it is that she has done or doesn't want to do. She sometimes uses it as a distraction in hopes that she can talk her way out of whatever trouble she is in. It struck me afterwards that maybe she just needed to talk about him.

I don't think we talk about him as much as we used to. Maybe I need to give the kids more opportunities to talk about him.

I am thankful for the things that make me smile....crumpled up notes on my pillow, hearing Lexi recall a special memory, and being able to recognize that my kids are ok.....they may drive me insane sometimes with their entitlement issues....but they really are going to be ok.....for that I am grateful and extremely hopeful....