June 16, 2005....part one

I got up that day a little earlier than usual because the babysitter was coming to our house and I needed some time to pick things up and straighten the house a little. The house was suffering from a week of neglect because I had been at VBS each night and there just wasn't much time to keep things at home in order.

Amber (the babysitter) arrived at about 8:30 and off I went to work. Brian was still at home doing some paperwork for the draw he was requesting from the bank on one of the houses he was building. He followed me out to the car and kissed me goodbye. He stood in the driveway and watched me back out....he had his arms folded and he raised one arm slightly and waved goodbye....this is my last memory of him and it is a very clear memory.....except that I can't picture what he had on.....but I can see his smile so vivdly........

I went to work and was busy all morning getting ready for the last night of VBS. I called him at about 11:30am to ask him if he wanted to go get some lunch with me. He was very upbeat when I talked with him and he told me something had come up at the house in Cedar Hill and that he was meeting the plumber there in about an hour so he couldn't go with me. This was the last conversation we ever had. We didn't usually go to lunch together but I wanted to spend some time with him since we had had such a busy week....and I wanted to continue to reconnect with him before we went off on our trip....much earlier in the week I would describe us as being pretty disconnected....we were both going in different directions...dealing with stressors in our work worlds....with very little time or energy to connect with each other....but, he couldn't go...so I decided to have lunch in with the ladies at work.

I went to Dairy Twin and picked up lunch and brought it back to the church to eat it in the breakroom. I was sitting there talking with the ladies and I mentioned our plans for the weekend. Laura was going to stay with the kids while we were gone and I remember joking with her about how much "fun" she was going to have being a parent to three kids that weekend. I finished lunch and went back upstairs to my office to work.......

It was now about 1:30pm and Melinda buzzed into my office and said "Shelly, line one....she says it is an emergency." My first thought was that one of my clients from the counseling center was calling. It would not have been unusual for one of them to call and ask to talk to me and to tell the secretary that it was an emergency....it had happened before....I was out in the hall when she buzzed me...I remember walking very calmly to the phone and picking it up....never thinking that the emergency was about Brian....I picked up the phone and said "This is Shelly"......

Stephanie was on the other end and she told me "Brian and Toby have been in an accident. Toby just called me and he was laying on the side of the road when he called". All I remember saying is "What?" "What happened" "Where?" Melinda heard my voice shaking and came in to my office.....I think she knew immediately by looking at me that something awful had happened.......Stephanie didn't give me much info....she said that they were careflighting Brian to either JPS or Harris Downtown......Melinda offered to drive me to the hospital. I got my purse and walked down to her car. I was calm....but only because I was scared to death to think the worst....surely there was a mistake....if I just act calm, this whole thing will blow over...

She drove me to the hospital. The whole time I kept looking out the window and up into the air.....I was trying to watch for the helicoptor....it seems foolish now....but I was intently focused on the sky......I had my cell phone and called my mom....I asked her if she would call Brian's mom...I just couldn't call her....I knew I would fall apart if I had to tell her.....

Stephanie called me once en route to the hospital. She told me that she talked to someone at the scene of the accident and that they said that Brian was conscious and was talking (I now know that was probably inaccurate....it was probably the drive of the other vehicle and not Brian)....she wanted me to know that because she thought that was a good sign. I remember telling Melinda that he was talking....that conversation gave me hope....maybe he was ok......

We arrived at Harris Hospital and we still didn't know if we were at the right hospital. Melinda asked me if I wanted to go in or stay in the car. I told her I would just stay in the car while she found out. I don't know why I didn't just go in....maybe it was a little bit of denial....I didn't want to be there.....and I wasn't going to go in unless I knew he was really there....

She came back out and said they don't know which hospital they are taking him to but that I should come inside and wait. I went in and they took us back to a family room. The chaplain came in and asked me a lot of questions to determine who they were looking for.....


I need to stop for now....part two another night....