Saturday, September 01, 2007

Happy Birthday Brian

Tomorrow would be Brian's 38th birthday. It's still so hard to believe that he's gone....I guess it's not so much hard to believe that he is gone as it is hard to figure out why he's gone...or how in the world it happened that he is gone....

There are days when I have a hard time remembering what it was like to be married to him...I can't remember what we did for his last birthday that he was alive....I can't remember what I got him for that birthday or even for that last Christmas together...I can't even remember what he was wearing on the day he died...It seems like there are more and more and more things that I can't remember....insignificant things....

But what I do remember.....is the way that he loved me....the way that he loved our kids....

I will never forget him....I will never forget his love....I wonder if I will ever quit missing him....

The tears tonight are for what? Why does it still have to hurt that tomorrow is his birthday and he never made it to 38? I have been rocking along doing really well....and then when I sit down long enough to think about his birthday tomorrow the emotions begin to hit....

Happy Birthday Brian....Always and forever we will love you.....

No comments: