Lots of Meetings....

The past two weeks I have participated in a ton of meetings. All of them have been interesting and educational. I've learned a lot about people and how they function in a group setting. I've watched some people address issues in healthy ways and I have watched others flounder when trying to confront an issue or person.

The most interesting meeting was probably the fourth grade room parent meeting that we had today to plan the Christmas party. I had no idea the drama that goes on in these meetings. This is the first year that I have served as a room parent. I have always helped with the parties but never been in charge. I could go on and on about some of the "control" issues that surfaced....but that isn't really what bothered me.

It happens quite often. I will be in a group of moms and one of them will make a comment about working moms or single parents. In most cases it is in a negative tone. The lady today said "you know I hate to say this, but they are absentee parents. I know they have to work but they just aren't willing to help". She was talking about her frustrations in collecting money for projects or getting help for parties.

Single parents or working moms are second class parents. At least that is what I hear on a regular basis.

I'd like to say that it doesn't bother me when people say that....but it does. I wonder if they don't realize they are sitting beside someone is who BOTH a single parent and a working mom....

I understand that there is a difference between single parent families and two parent families. I am aware that there are some definite deficiencies in my family.

However, we are doing the best that we can. I am as involved as I possibly can be in my kids' school activities. I have stepped up the pace in my involvement and feel that I am more than pulling my weight.

I didn't contribute monetarily to the class project for the auction at the carnival. I heard about "those parents" who didn't contribute today at the meeting as well. I could have contributed but I chose not to because I had reached my limit financially for that month. I had just written a 205.00 check for Nathan to go on the Austin/San Antonio field trip and I needed to say "no" to the request. I didn't see it as anything but trying to be a good manager of my money. I guess this lady thought differently. If there is one thing I will not do it is to give out of guilt or manipulation. I wasn't trying to be uncooperative, I just reached my limit. Had there not just been a huge field trip to pay for I probably would have been more generous. I just didn't appreciate the way this lady portrayed people who didn't participate.

I guess I was surprised at the snootiness of some at the meeting. Maybe their life is perfect and their resources of time and money are unlimited....but mine aren't.

I want to be more involved in my kids school....and I will continue to be as I have opportunities. I do get tired of the little jabs about single parents and working moms.....

I wonder how people view me.....am I sort of an acceptable second class parent/mom since I'm a widow? Or, do they think negatively of me just like every other single parent? Or, are they just clueless when they say things about the very type of person that I am?

I didn't feel singled out today at the meeting. Everyone was nice, friendly and inclusive. I just read between the lines on a lot of things.....

Losing my marital status has been a big adjustment....I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me....the single parent identity is a tough one to swallow....