Over the Edge....

It's been an incredibly busy and stressful week.  There was one point this week when I thought I was seriously about to lose it.  Every hat that I wear was tested all at once last week.  I didn't sleep well all week.  I wasn't ever able to shut myself down mentally or emotionally.

I finally got some relief today.  I am so thankful.

It's been one of those weeks when I wonder if I shouldn't pack up and move back to Oklahoma and rest for a day or two...or a year.  

I'm not complaining, I'm just being real.  

The most significant hat that I wear is my parenting hat....and I felt like this week almost pushed me over the edge.  I love my kids...adore my kids...but, they wore me out this week.  I felt defeated as a parent.  I kept thinking it would get better....and it didn't...not until today....and I am soooo thankful.

I don't know that I will ever have a week like that again...it was a perfect storm...pressured in all areas of my life...every single one.

I hope the relief I am feeling lasts.....because I am not sure how much longer I can hold it all together.  

The most discouraging thing....is that there really isn't anything I can do about a lot of it...without creating major, earth-shaking change in my life.  I feel stuck in a life that sometimes demands more than I can produce.

School is breathing down my neck.  I spent my "day off" teaching a class for my internship.  It went well...actually, it went very well.  Two students got my email address to contact me with some questions and one student asked if  she could take me to lunch sometime.  So, that was cool...but honestly, after I finished it my mind shifted into overdrive for the next challenge of the day...I never really got to enjoy the fact that it went well because I was headlong into the next item on my life...the good news is that I am done with the internship...no more classes to teach and prepare for....and the online class is almost over as well.  The bad news is that I still have a major paper due in about 10 days and I still have some significant work to do on it.

I can't seem to keep track of all my kid's projects, assignments, payments for field trips, homework, etc.  I've never struggled with this before.  I've always been able to keep a good grip on it...right now, I'm just trying to survive and that isn't a good spot to be in.

The building drama has intensified.  My mind can not rest worrying/thinking about it.  I had to go meet with a contractor today.  It took half of my day to do it.  The interesting thing is that the potential buyer showed up and I met him.  I had finished talking to the contractor and went next door to the store to get a drink before we drove back home.  While we were in the store, they showed up.  I noticed someone in the building when I got back to my car and decided to check it out.  I walked in and they were sitting on a desk eating their breakfast...like they owned the place.  I asked them who they were and they told me....then I told them I was the owner and their jaw dropped open.  It was actually very humorous.  They told me they had seen several cars and just stopped by to see what was going on.   My interpretation:  they are very interested if they felt it necessary to see what was happening and had the nerve to go in my building and sit down to eat.  To be fair, my realtor had given them a key to have some contractors in there to give bids...so they weren't there without my consent...but I found it strange they would be so curious as to what was going on that they would stop to check it out.  I hope this means what I am interpreting it to mean....we shall see.

Work hasn't been a walk in the park either.....I've been at this church for 13 years and I have never had the kind of challenges I had this week...I hope to never repeat another week like that...

So....it's been a tough week...I'm anticipating Thanksgiving and praying it will be a change of pace in terms of schedule and stress.....I do have so much to be thankful...and I look forward to celebrating that.