It's been an extremely busy past couple of weeks. Mom was here for a week (woohoo) and then my neighbor's 40th birthday party at my house and now, VBS.
Mom being here was a huge blessing. It's been a long time since she came and stayed a full week. I had forgotten what it was like to have an extra set of hands 24/7. We took the kids school shopping and got them everything they need in one afternoon trip. I was pumped!
Vacation Bible School started last night, and, for the first time since Brian's death, I felt like I really contributed to VBS. We had a community luau and the turnout was better than I had hoped for...it was a highlight in ministry for me. I guess that as I am getting older and more self-aware (ha, ha, that sounds pretty corny) I realize that there are certain things I am good at and certain things that I am terrible at. While are many things I am terrible at, there are a few things that I love doing and can usually be successful at. Planning a big event and pulling a team of people together to make it happen is my favorite thing in minstry to do. I love to see other people use their gifts and shine. Last night was beautiful to watch and very fulfilling to be a part of. I realize that we can't always do what we love, but it sure is fun and cool to see how God can use our gifts to glorify Him.
Personally, for me, it was a victory to get back in the game at VBS. It was a milestone in healing...yes, I will always think of Brian's death when VBS comes around. However, last night was a deliberate and intentional attempt to say 'I want VBS to be about VBS...not about my loss or the feelings that overwhelm me'. I don't know that anyone else but me can understand what I am trying to say....I just know that I want to disconnect VBS from Brian's death, and last night was a huge step forward in doing that.
I am extremely grateful for God's work in my life. I am thankful that He gives us time to heal, and that He can use us even when we are broken.
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1 comment:
Ohhhh...VBS...
Speaking of knowing what we are good at---this is one area I am NOT, so I appreciate people like you who are committed to such a wonderful outreach. I realized a few years ago that when it comes to ministry, I am more productive in areas where the commitment has a beginning and an end. That being said, Kent and I just took on the Grief Share ministry--which of course is on-going with no real beginning and end...oh well---God knows our heart and our intentions as well and He can use us for His glory.
M
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