Think Big

A couple of weeks ago I told the kids I wanted us to adopt the motto "Think Big" for this school year. I had read a book by the same name about a man who grew up in less than ideal circumstances (raised by a single mom), yet was able to become one of the best brain surgeons in the world.

I am not under the delusion that one of my kids is going to become a top brain surgeon. I was, however, challenged by this book and convicted that I needed to push the kids a little more. This book, in combination with some other books I am reading for a paper, has caused me to review how I was parenting and what adjustments might need to be made.

So, here are some of the changes that we have made over the past 2-3 weeks:

1. No television in the mornings before school.
2. No televison on Sundays at all.
3. Television during the week is much more limited. They can watch one 30 minute show in the afternoon and one show in the evening.
4. Each week-night they are to do 30 minutes of "Think Big" time. This is time when they do something above and beyond what they are being asked to do in school. For Nathan, we have been focusing on multiplication facts. For Lexi, we have been learning 100 spelling words that are frequently used in 2nd grade. For both of them, they may practice piano or practice typing with the typing program I have for them to learn to type on the computer. Nathan is also allowed to draw during this time.
5. We are going running/walking or doing some type of physical activity every evening that weather permits and we aren't already committed to an activity.
6. They have to help me set the table and clean up the dishes after the evening meal.
7. When we come home from school they have to pick up their rooms before they can watch television.
8. They have to read every night before they go to bed (this has been true for a long time and isn't really anything new).

We have been doing most of this for about two weeks now. They are finally to the point where they don't mind it and they comply without expressing their lack of enthusiasm.

My favorite change has been the absence of television and the noise it creates. I actually considered unplugging the television from the back and just telling the kids it no longer worked. I decided I couldn't lie to them but I could determine how much they watched. It wasn't that they watched it all the time...we still had limits.....but, it seemed like it had became one of the most important things to them.

One thing I have noticed is that I have shifted my parenting focus more to trying to "teach" them to become independent. I find myself "showing" them how to do more things and encouraging them to learn new skills so that they can handle things on their own. It is a very cool experience to see them begin to take on responsibility and be successful at it.

I am also trying to make decisons about how I spend my time more carefully. I can't do everything that a two-parent family can. I have said "no" to some things or chosen not to get involved in things that create more stress for my family. It's not that I don't want to do all the things that I used to be able to do...it's that I can't. I can't cook a meal for every family that has a baby or go to every shower that I get invited to. I no longer feel guilty about having to say "no". I think for quite a while I tried to do everything that I always did....I tried to be a single parent who could do things that two-parent families can do....and I now realize that that is unrealistic.

I still care about people and want to be generous and want to serve....I just can't do it the same way. As the kids get older I am certain I will be able to do more....for now, I just can't.

I think this is just part of "rebuilding" our life. I am more aware of the issues that I struggle with and I am now able to make better decisions for our family.

I like that we are "thinking big" this year.....I think that is progress....