Home

It's good to be home. It's good to be on our own turf. We were gone for thirteen days and there is nothing like coming home.

I struggled quite a bit on our trip. I took comments from my brother-in-law and mom too personal. I let their comments taint our interactions. I wish I was more mature than that.

I love my family. I adore my family. But, I grew weary of some of them and I am sure they grew weary of me.

On the way home last night my kids got a 35 minute lecture from me. For the first time, I pointed out to them the fact that I am one parent trying to do the work of two. They were ungrateful on the trip and seemed to have a hard time understanding that I couldn't be in two places at once doing two different things.

I don't know if I was too hard on them or if I should have kept my frustrations to myself...but it's too late now. They heard it from me....life without their daddy is extremely hard (but good still) and I can't always do it all by myself.

After I had said my peace we all apologized to each other and promised to each give 100% in our family. I don't know if it is going to help anything, but it felt ok to admit to them that I can't physically (especially on a ski vacation) do everything for them anymore....I told them I was done giving 150% and them giving about 20%....I told them I didn't mind giving 150% if they were giving 100% themselves (I don't expect them to give what an adult can give but they can take more responsibility than they are currently taking)...but when they aren't doing their part, it makes me angry and resentful..

Parenting is tough....I fail a lot....but, I love them and would do anything for them....hopefully, all the good and bad balance each other out...

I hope I didn't give them too much guilt....they seem to be fine today....