A matter of trust....

Proverbs 3:5-6 has been on my mind the past few days.  I've been meditating on it, dissecting it, and seeking to understand what it should mean in my life.  I've come to realize that my "trust factor" is pretty low and in need of an overhaul.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight".

Trust requires a relationship of reliance.  In order to place your trust in someone you have to rely on them for something.  In order to trust God, I have to rely on Him for everything.  It demands dependence on Him.  I'm not very good at that.  I'd like to think that I am, but the truth is that I have tried to become self-reliant.  One of the motivating factors for me to become self-reliant is that my personal life has demanded it.  I've had to learn to do many new things.  I've had to pull myself up by the proverbial bootstraps in order to work through a difficult tragedy.  As a result, I've become more "self" reliant.  I know I can do just about anything life requires of me...I've had to.  Yet, in becoming more "self" reliant I have drifted away from reliance on God.  So, this verse has been an incredible reminder to me that I need to put my trust in God...not myself, not in my family, not in anything else but God.

Trust is a matter of the heart.  I'm also not good at allowing my "heart" to guide me.  I'm a thinker, not a feeler.  I make decisions based on facts...on well thought out plans...not on my emotions.  This verse reminds me that trusting God with all my heart is not a logical decision.  Trusting God with all my heart puts me in a vulnerable position with God.  I have to open up both my heart and my mind in order to trust Him fully.

Trust is also not dependent on understanding.  We don't trust because we understand.  It doesn't work that way.  We are not to "lean" on our own understanding because it is flawed...it is inadequate.  Yet, this is where I fail every time.  I analyze things to death.  I crunch the numbers, I weigh the risk versus the reward, I calculate the costs.....it's all about my understanding and agreeing with whatever issue I'm wrestling with at the time.  I can't rely on my own understanding for wisdom or direction or peace....ouch.

Trust requires us to "acknowlege" Him in all our ways....I think that means I look to Him in every situation I'm in for direction...it means I sift all of life's circumstances and decisions through what I know to be true about God and His will for my life.  It means everything passes through Him and I seek to obey and honor Him in all things...even the things in life that are tough...even those things in life that seem to make no sense and serve no purpose.  I must acknowledge the reality of His presence in my life and His desire for my life in every situation and circumstance I find myself in.

The great thing....is that when we trust Him, when we don't depend on our own understanding and when we acknowledge Him in all things....He will make our paths straight....He will get us where we need to go.  He will remove the obstacles....

I needed this.....

God, I am relying on you and not on my own understanding.  I want to seek you in my life and acknowledge you in every area of my life.  God, make my paths straight.  I need more of You and less of me....Thank you for this word.