I also wonder what it would be like to live closer to my extended family. Braden has spent a week with my mom and dad and is having the time of his life. He caught a 3 lb catfish last night and has been pulled behind a waverunner on an innertube all day today. Would it help him if he had more of an influence from a man like my dad? I'm not sure my dad wants to sign up to spend time with him on a regular basis but I wonder if it would help Braden???
It is so very hard to know how to make choices and decisions on my own. At least if Brian were here I would have someone to bounce things off of and talk through my worries. And, it's a lot easier to be courageous when there is someone standing right beside you....I miss that.
Yet, with all of my questions, I see God working in my life in a way that doesn't make sense to throw in the towel. I love my church family and love my job (95 days out of 100). I love that I get to go to school and that I have had some pretty incredible opportunities lately to minister....
So, as usual, I feel pulled in both directions. There is a pull to get some family support....yet, there is an equally persuasive pull to keep pursuing God here....
The bottom line for me is that I want to do what God wants me to do and I pray that is also what is best for my kids....sometimes I get those two things confused and think they may be contradictory...
I've also discovered this week that there are some areas of my spiritual life that need realignment....I'm committed to work on those...and I am praying that when those areas are addressed, the worrying will stop....and clear direction and guidance will return.
Until then...I'm staying on my knees....
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