It's been a while since I last updated my blog. It's been a rough week or so. There are lots of issues brewing at work and I am trying my best to get things under control. It seems to be a season of difficulty right now. I have heard more complaints about various issues over the past two weeks than I have heard in a couple of years. It seems that every where I turn someone is unhappy or wanting more of something. I am trying to evaluate my performance and figure out what I can do better to avoid some of it. I am also making some changes so that, hopefully, my kids can go to worship with me at least once or twice a month. As it stands, I never get to go unless I have a direct responsibility in the service...which isn't very often.
I am a little discouraged about where I am right now. Nothing is really clicking for me. Friendships are fading, connections are weakening and I think people are frustrated with me being discouraged.
I'm not there yet....I'm not where I want to be....I believe I am on the right path, but I am not there yet. Not only am I not there yet, I am also frustrated with the fact that I am not there yet. I am trying to remind myself to find joy in the journey...its working to a degree but its a struggle.
I went to church in Oklahoma this weekend with my family. I got to go to church with no responsibilities (and that was nice). However, I didn't fit there either. I really just wanted to be at my church worshipping with the people I have grown to love. I did learn a few things. My nephew, who is 15, shared his testimony that morning. It wasn't polished and it wasn't perfectly smooth. However, God spoke to me through it. He reminded me that all of us have a story and God uses our stories to minister to people. My nephew shared how after he gave his testimony at a backyard VBS that two kids wanted to follow Christ. One of the kids came up to Cody (my nephew) afterwards and said "I like your story. I want Jesus". Cody was blown away that God could use his simple story to reach someone.
Isn't that what it is all about? Each of us have a story....and God wants to use those stories to bring people to Him.
I pray my story would honor God and would speak of God's love and compassion....may I be willing (just like Cody was) to share it and trust God with the results....
Nope, I am not there yet....but I am on my way...
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3 comments:
I hope you know I'm not frustrated with you. I don't get tired of your "thinking things through out loud." Trust me, I've heard people be negative a whole lot longer then you have been and on a whole different scale. I'm not sure though that I would classify you as being negative...your just in a tough spot right now.
Also, I hope you don't see our friendship as fading and our connection as weakening. Yes, there are things going on in each of our lives, but we are in this together.
I think going to worship with your kids is a great idea! Hopefully Josh proved himself to you last weekend that will enable you to go to worship with confidence that everything is being taken care of.
I think you are on your way....maybe more than you recognize right now. Just remember to take it one day at a time and each day as it comes.
I would recommend reading "The Shack" by William Young. It will either define or stretch your image of God. It is a beautiful story that put into words the essence of what I believe myself. I especially love how Young deals with where is God when life stinks---
Blessings to you today.
Marsha
I would agree with Marsha. If you want to borrow it, I would be glad to loan it to you.
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