Seasons and Change

We've begun to catch a small glimpse of the season change that is coming here in Texas. Granted, our seasons are very mild and we tend to live in two or three seasons at once. Texas is a great place to live if you aren't too fond of extreme seasonal changes.

I've been thinking about this concept of "seasons" a lot today. If I look at my life I can recognize many different seasons of life, love and ministry. Most of those seasonal changes came with very little warning and some of the seasons I have experienced have been extreme and harsh.

In terms of my life right now, I have begun to realize that I really have very little control over the seasons of my life. I certainly did not choose to be in this season of single parenting, yet that is where I am at.

One of the things that I have thought about today is that while we can't control the seasons (of nature or of our life), we can adapt and adjust to them. There are certain things that we do to prepare for the season of winter. We put covers over our faucets, we check the heating unit, we put pre-emergent down (learned that just this year), etc. We prepare for it because we know these adjustmets need to be made in order to benefit from the seasonal change.

I find myself struggling to make the adjustments necessary to benefit from the change of seasons in my own life. I am still trying to act as though it is Spring in my life....when really, it's winter. It's foolish of me not to recognize that things have changed and so must I.

I came home from work today at lunch and cried a good long cry. I found myself standing in the kitchen crying out to God in a similar way I found myself the day Brian died. I told God, just like I told everyone that day, "I don't know what to do....I don't know what to do"....

I really don't know what to do. I really don't know what is best for my kids right now. I really don't know what is best for me.

The only thing that keeps running through my head is this...."a new season was forced on me....I need to make adjustments....and realize that Spring will be here again....but not until the work of winter is done"

God, I thank you for seasons of life, love and ministry. Help me to recognize the adjustments that need to be made and give me the courage to make those changes.