Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Carpet Cleaners and Funeral Plants

I just had to share my carpet cleaner story since I alluded to it in the last post and it is definitely one of those stories worth writing down that I don't want to forget.

Here is what happened:

I had a carpet cleaner come out to the house to clean my carpet about a year after Brian died. We were looking for a new carpet cleaner for the church to do some of the children's area and so I was extra friendly with this guy...hoping to find someone who would do the church carpet too.

He came in the house and when he realized I worked for a church he also became a little more friendly. He told me that he was an ordained minister of the church of Yahweh. Yeah, whatever. I didn't think much about it...he was easy enough to talk to and I felt pretty comfortable with him there.

The conversation continued as he began to work....he eventually asked me the dreaded question, "what does your husband do?" My kids were in the same room and so I had to be honest....I said "I am a widow, he died about a year ago". If my kids hadn't been there I probably would have said "he's a custom home builder" and left it at that...I try to protect my personal information and I don't like people knowing I live by myself.

As you can imagine he told me how sorry he was....blah, blah, blah. I expected that....but what I didn't expect is what he said to me next. He said, "do you believe it is ok for you to remarry?" I said, "excuse me"....I was giving myself time to figure out how I was going to answer....he repeated the question....and I said, "what do you mean...do you mean biblically is it ok for me to remarry?" He said 'yes, I want to know if you think Scripture teaches you that you can remarry after your spouse dies". I said something like "well, yes, I think it is probably ok. I don't know of any Scriptures that teach against it". He said "no ma'am you are wrong. The Word teaches that if you remarry you will be thrown into the lake of fire". At this point I really thought he was kidding......and then when I realized he wasn't kidding I wasn't sure how to take him. I then asked him "where does it say that in the Bible?" He never really answered but then went on to give me a lecture about how I would be separated from God eternally if I broke the covenant I made between God and Brian. His last words to me before my blood began to boil and I had to leave the room were "how do you think your husband would feel if he knew you were with another man...don't you think that would be the ultimate betrayal"?

I am telling you the absolute truth....those words actually came out of his mouth. I said, "I think relationships in heaven are going to be a little different than they are here and I don't think that is really going to be an issue".....He told me again how wrong I was and how awful hell would be.....I then said " I think you and I are going to have to just agree to disagree" and I walked out of the room and tried to compose myself enough to figure out if I should ask him to leave my home...I decided that he knew too much about me to tick him off...so I let him finish, paid him and never said another word to him.

Can ya believe that? I so did not deserve that lecture. It bordered on spiritual harrassment.... I guess if I had told him I was dating or that I wanted to get remarried I can see where he might feel the need to share his opinion. But, I hadn't even so much as had a conversation with someone I would consider dating....I wasn't out on the prowl....I was minding my own business in my own home and he had the gall to put me through the ringer.

Definitely the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me......and probably also the most hurtful....at the time anyways....now I can kind of laugh about it....


Funeral plants....I put the last two out in the garage to die tonight. I have grown weary of trying to keep them alive.....is that a bad thing? I am tired of seeing them and being reminded of why I have them....and it is hard to keep them looking good....so the last of the many plants that were sent to me are dead. I kept up with most of them for about a year and a half....then slowly I have been letting them go.....weird isn't it?

3 comments:

Gigi said...

It's always amazing to me the things people glean from the bible...I have to wonder....all I seem to get is a call to love, to figure out how to love, to figure out how to accept love....and when someone gets an absolute 'truth' I just wonder.....thanks for sharing your journey.

Bruce said...

That's just scary...and wrong on so many levels. It's no wonder Christians have a bad rep.

B~

Laura said...

That guy should have just kept his mouth shut and gone about his business. After all, he was there to clean carpets, not school you in what he thought was truth from Scripture. What an idiot!!!

As far as the plants go...you kept them alive for a year and a half...that's pretty good I would say. I think it's ok that you are done with them. Maybe another step along the journey.