Celebrating Dad

This past week I took my children to South Padre Island. The picture above is what we created on Father's Day to celebrate their dad. We had some help from a local professional sand castle builder (can you believe people do that for a living?). We had a wonderful time building it. For me, it was one of the highlights of our trip.

It has now been over two years since Brian died and I made it through the anniversary of his death, Father's Day, and our wedding anniversary. Those three significant days come within four days of each other. Needless to say, I think it will probably become a tradition that I take my kids on vacation around those dates every year. It seems to help to be away from home and out trying to have some fun, even in the midst of some painful reminders.

This year I was struck by the difference in how I viewed the anniversary of his death. Last year it was all about "remembering his death". It seemed impossible not to relive the nightmare.....the phone call, the hospital, telling the kids, the funeral....all of those events consumed my mind and it was an extremely painful week.

For whatever reason....maybe call it healing....this year it seemed to be more about "celebrating his life". I found myself wanting to make sure we did things on our vacation that celebrated who he was. I planned the sand castle building specifically to be a fun thing that also symbolized the best parts of Brian. Brian was extremely creative and loved to build things. I know he would have gotten a real kick out of seeing us build the sand castle in honor of him.

I don't think I will ever be able to forget the painful events of his death...and I don't even think that should be a goal....but I am thankful that I seem to be able to now focus on celebrating his life....smiling....and knowing that we were loved by him...completely and totally loved by him....and for that I am grateful....