Doing a lot of praying....

God impressed on me some truths in my Bible reading time today. I'm thankful for the reminders that come from Scripture. I wish I didn't need the reminders....you'd think some of the struggles that I have would be old hat by now...but they aren't.

I'm praying for my kids.....alot. We head to family camp tomorrow and I am praying God will continue to draw them to Himself. I see evidence of His work in their lives and I am praying we will all feel the undeniable presence and voice of God.

If I could have a wish list of things I'd like God to speak to me and my kids about it would be....
*I wish He would give me affirmation that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing....where I am supposed to be doing it....or He would make it abundantly clear that there is another door about to be opened....and then I pray He would give me courage to walk through it....wherever it might be.
*I wish my kids would respond to God in the way God has planned. I know Nathan and Lexi are close to making spiritual decisions. I pray He will speak to them and give them courage.
*I wish God would give me wisdom and confidence to continue to grow forward. I feel pretty beat down right now by circumstances and relationships in my life.
*I wish God would quiet my mind.....and speak to me in a way that is undeniably His voice...I need to hear from Him.....
*I wish God would show me how to move forward...away from the hurt and disappointment that comes from earthly relationships.


There are so many incredible things going on in my life.....so many potential opportunities....and yet, never have I felt so uncertain and perplexed....and to some extent, alone. The cynical side of me wants to give up and quit.....or at least wonders why I bother...


So, I'm doing a lot of praying.....and I know God will answer....He just hasn't spoken yet.....

I'm so looking forward to being with my kids at camp over the next few days.....expecting big things of God. I'm also praying it won't be too awkward or hard to be a single parent at a family camp. I'm asking God to give me confidence about myself instead of feeling out of place. I now realize that many people feel sorry for me and the kids....the truth is, I feel sorry for them. It's really hard to watch some of the shallowness I see in families and couples and not feel extremely sorry for them....it's hard to listen to some of the stuff I hear on a regular basis....maybe that has something to do with my discouragement and disappointment lately....

For whatever reason, I'm fighting hard against discouragement.....God show yourself to me....I need to see you...I need to worship you....

For a God who answers our cries....I am grateful.....