Not sure what to say....

I'm still trying to process the past few days. Since my last post God has brought some clarity to my life, to my thoughts and to my heart. I'm thankful for that, really thankful. I suppose one of the benefits of blogging is that you can trace God's work in your life. I can look back and read my blog and see how God has walked me through some difficult and discouraging days.

We just got back from family camp. It's hard to put into words all God showed me and taught me. He didn't necessarily answer all my questions but He did provide clarity. For me, clarity comes when I allow myself to be vulnerable with God. He always has a way of meeting me where I am at and gently nudging me forward.

I've never been prouder of my kids than I was these past few days. I saw them do things I never thought they would do. They pushed themselves farther than I expected. It was a high water mark for me as a parent to see them excel and get out of their comfort zones. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. We didn't know anyone there. There were a few single parent families but the overwhelming majority were in tact families. It honestly didn't bother me all that much. I'd be lying if I said I didnt' think about it and wish things were different. But, overall, I was just proud of my family, proud of how we've grown and changed and thankful to be there.

Perhaps one of the highlights for me was the day we did the zip line together. My nephew joined us and so it was me, Nathan, Lexi and Blake. To keep the story short, we all made it up to the top and Blake froze. He was white as a ghost and tears were streaming down his face. He was terrified. I took charge and told the kids on the count of three we would all jump off, hoping he would follow. We counted to three....and three of us jumped off and Blake couldn't do it. We got down to the bottom and he struggled for quite a while. We were all trying to encourage him to jmp off but it wasn't working. Nathan decides to yell up to him and this is what he says...."Blake, conquer your fear! You can do it!"

Wow...I was impressed.....Nathan has learnd what it means to conquer your fears...and it was so cool to hear him shout that to Blake. Unfortunately, Blake wasn't able to do it and got lowered down. Regardless, it was a moment I will never forget.

I love my kids. I love that I get to do life with them.

My heart is full....and I am so grateful for God's work in my life and in my family's life....