Writing Sample

Nathan brought home his portfolio today with a great writing sample.  I was most impressed with the growth in his writing.  Actually, this was the first piece I have ever seen him write that included anything more than just the facts.  I may be bias, but I think it's pretty good for a nine year old.  His teacher picked his out of the class to use as an example....Nathan was so proud of that.  I am SO glad that this year is turning out better than it started.....

Just for fun....Here it is...spelling errors and all....

A Scary Ride?

Ch ch ch ch ch ch ch!  Goes the sound of our boat being pulled uphill.  You might guess where I'm at.....Well I'm at Disney World riding Splash Mountain.  My heart is pounding we're at the top of the hill.  I close my eyes and wait for it to be over.  Swooosh!  Wait a minute that wasn't the big hill that wasn't even a hill.  And now we're in a tunnel and going as slow as snails.  As I look around I see butterflies and catterpilars on flowers.  "Look over there!" shouts my sister while pointing at a bear and a rabbit.

A song starts playing and it sounds babyish.  I start to think I shouldn't of waited an hour in line for this, but I guess as long as I'm here I should injoy it.  So I looked around and heard birds singing, crickets chirping and frogs croking.  The air smelled like cloren, and the water was cold when it splashed up on me.  We are now entering a deep, dark tunnel.  I see an owl hoot then he says "don't go that way I warned you you'll be sorry".

I start to get worred.  The big hill is up next.  BumBumBum!...BumBumBum! goes my heaert pounding against my chest.  A million thoughts race through my head one of them is that we are going to plunge to our deaths.  

Chchchchchch ch!  By now we're at the top of the hill.  I look out and see everything even the castle.  I look down and see people that look like ants hunting for food.  The boat starts leaning forward.  Zoom!  We are plungeing down and I think my stomach is still at the top of the hill!  Splash!!  We're at the stashion platform again and I'm wet from head to toe with freezing cold water.  Then I turn to my mom and say "can we ride it again, please!"

Some spelling errors and grammar mistakes....but such an improvement in details and painting a picture.  He has gone from "just the facts" to this and I am very pleased and proud.