Nothing is Simple

I realized yesterday that even though I may be ready to make some changes in my life it really isn't that simple.

My vehicle has 87,00 miles on it. It makes sense to me to consider getting a different one before this one hits 100,000 and the value goes too low. I made some phone calls and had a plan for a different vehicle. I showed up at school to pick my kids up test-driving the new vehicle. Lexi was elated and Nathan began to cry.

It was hardly the reaction I was hoping for. I thought the kids would be excited....not so much. Nathan had quite a few tears over it and when it was all said and done I decided to back off and hold off on making the change. I realize that I am the parent and that I have to make the decisions that are in the best interest of our family....and I understand that at some point I WILL have to make a change....but, I do want to take his feelings into consideration....and if I do that then it makes sense for me to wait a little longer to give him time to get used to the idea.

It got me to thinking about "change".....I believe that I am ready to make some changes in my life....I was actually pretty pumped about this decision....it's one of many decisions that I will need to make over the next few years as our needs change and as things wear out....it made me realize that I need to address "change" with Nathan....things can't stay the same forever...and he has to learn to be a little more adaptable and open to new things....on a side note, Nathan is a very compliant child who rarely ever bucks my decisions....which is what made me want to take a step back from the deal....because he usually is not so emotional about things....and trying to figure out exactly what is going on inside his head is proving to be elusive.....there is a small part of this that I believe is tied to the fact that his dad purchased this car for me as a surprise...and that was a really cool thing.....but I don't think his reaction is just about that....I think it is a combination of things.....

I guess you could say I am mildly disappointed about the whole ordeal.....and maybe reality has given me pause for discouragement....it's like now that I want to make some changes I can't....because I guess maybe my kids aren't as ready for change as I am....and that is discouraging....because nothing is simple anymore...or so it seems....

Then again....it's just a vehicle....and I can be patient for the right time.....I just want change to be simple....and it isn't....