Walking with my kids through their grief has been an extremely meaningful experience. I have found that they have unexpected moments of grief. The kids seem to do their grieving in little bits and pieces. Sometimes I feel like I do a good job of reading them and other times I feel completely lost in trying to guide them through their grief.
Tonight was one of those unexpected moments. I put Braden to bed and told the kids we were doing family time. Family time usually means reading the Bible or talking about what they are learning about God at church. Tonight, when I mentioned that we were going to have family time Lexi immediately went to get the big box out of the closet that has all the cards and memorabilia from Brian's funeral. I wasn't planning to make tonight about Brian but when Lexi came back with the box I figured she must need to talk about her daddy. Lexi has found a lot of comfort in reading the cards that people sent or listening to the letters that people wrote to her about her daddy.
Tonight, she found the DVD that had a photo slideshow of Brian that was put together for his funeral. I had forgotten that Lexi didn't go to the funeral and had never seen this video. I popped it in the television and we started watching it. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Nathan was getting uncomfortable and fighting back tears. Of course when I saw how it was affecting him it began to affect me....and so there we all were, silently crying. I picked Nathan up and put him in my lap and held him close....I told him that I still cried sometimes when I thought about daddy and that it was ok to cry....Lexi ran off and came back in a flash with kleenex for each of us....I think she is going to be a counselor someday.....there have been several times when I have been crying and she has run off to get me a kleenex....never says a word just disappears and comes back with kleenex and a hug.....we all cried for just a little bit....snuggled together and had one of those unexpected grief moments....but we did it together...and it was ok....and it was a sweet family moment....
I am thankful for those grief moments that we share together....they are few and far between....and are usually unexpected and unplanned....but they are meaningful to me.....and for that I am grateful.
Shelly
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3 comments:
The time you spent with your kids honestly talking about grief and expressing the emotions that are still present will be cherished. I'm sure it was a bitter-sweet time and is just one more step along the journey.
I come every day and I read this and the previous post......I haven't commented but I have been praying.....having nothing to offer I simply offer evidence to that fact....
Thank you for continuing to read...and for your prayers....
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