Four Years Later...

The kids and I (along with my mom, sister and her two kids) are in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.  It has become our practice to take a vacation around the time of the anniversary of Brian's death.  It has worked well for us.  We try to do something special every year.  The first year we went camping.  The second year we built an incredible sand castle in memory of Brian.  Last year we went snorkeling.  This year I have a couple of ideas but will have to see how it all works out. 

So, what's life like for us four years later....

I still miss him.  I think of him every day. 

I am grateful for the life we shared together.

The kids are doing well.  

I'm doing well.  I'm excited about my future.  I have been dreaming again....it feels good.

While I would embrace his presence back into our lives, I wouldn't want the lessons I've learned to be lost or forgotten.  

God has been faithful...and good to us, so very good to us.

I will never be able to call his death a "good" thing.  However, I am able to see very clearly many "good" things that have come from his death.

There are still times when I think "HOW did this happen to my family?"  I know I will never understand.  I'm ok with that.  

The tears don't come very often or freely anymore....when I think of him I mostly think of all the good times we had.  Yet, today, there were tears.  I don't know that June 16th will ever be a tear-free day.  I'm ok with that too.

Four years later....life is different but life is very good.

I'm very blessed.

I'm grateful for God's presence in my life....

I'm grateful for my kids...who give me all the motivation I need to keep growing forward.