For the first time, Nathan talked about the day that his daddy died. It wasn't a planned conversation. It just happened. He told me what he remembered about the day. He told me that he had asked his daddy to put up the water slide that morning so they could play on it with the babysitter. Brian told him no because they were going to Family Night at VBS and there would be a big waterslide there for them to enjoy. There's really no significance to those "facts"...I was just thankful that Nathan is now able to talk about that day.
It's not that Nathan hasn't talked "about" his dad...he has done that from day one. This conversation struck me as "different" because he was able to tell me the last conversation he had with his dad. He was able to share what "he" remembered about the day his daddy died. It was new info for me...and maybe that seemed special too...I now know some of what Nathan talked about with his dad just before he left for work.
Lexi also told me what she remembered about that day. She recanted almost verbatim what I told them when I had to tell them that their daddy died. I was amazed that she would remember the words that I used....she was only four when it happened.
They also both remembered that there were "lots of people mowing our lawn and cleaning our house". It wasn't that the yard was in bad shape or that the house was filthy...it was just that there were so many people trying to help us with the practical issues in our life...and they remembered that....interesting.
They both remembered that I took them in Nathan's room and sat them on the bed to talk to them. I will never forget that day. I don't know that there will ever be anything harder than having to do that.
As I have said before, the main reason why I write this blog is for my kids...I want them to be able to see the process we went through in dealing with their daddy's death...and this seemed worth noting....we have now reached a point where we can sit around the dinner table and talk about the most difficult thing our family has ever been through...I think that is progress...and healing.
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