It's been a while....

It's been almost 10 months since I last posted. I'm not sure why I stopped. It seemed I had nothing to say.

I went back and read my last few posts and was reminded of what was going on in my heart and head almost a year ago. Sadly, not much has changed. I still struggle to know if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.

This Christmas was tough. Life isn't working too well for me right now. I seem to have lost all boundaries. Everything feels out of control and chaotic. I'm under a lot of pressure at work and my parenting struggles have been magnified over the past couple of weeks.

I'm struggling....hurting...alone.

I don't have time for me and it is beginning to burn me out. I resent all the people who depend on me for one thing or another.

We had Christmas today. There wasn't one present under the tree for me. I spent hours and hundreds of dollars buying for the kids...I wasn't even thought of.

I'm down.

Something has to give.

Soon.